On the 6h of november our teacher miss sragg. told us to write a something just like we just watched on the t.v first we watched the oceanmaker then. we got lots of ideas from our idea board in front of our class. when we were finished with all of our ideas we got planning sheets we got to plane. for ten minutes at that very moment I remember that I Needed to go to steps. so when I got back from steps I tried to finish my work on time so that's why my work is a bit rushed Anyway can you please comment on my blog and can you please give me feedback.
Here is the video
I’ve been look for my family ever since the day of the incident…..
It was a couple of years ago. My family where in a boat for christmas it was fine that day the sun was shining the birds were singing everyone was laughing and smiling. I was happy everyone was happy that evening everything went wrong. I was getting ready for bed when suddenly the boat dipped upside down. I was rushing upstairs my family behind me as I. reached the top of the boat I realized my family weren't behind me they where stuck!! I quickly rushed to where they were stuck trying to free them I pulled the table as hard as I could. when suddenly I could see my mum she was looking at me to go everybody, even my dog lucky was there they told me to take lucky. and they would fine away out the boat as I. escaped the boat I heard my mum dad and sister lucy saying “I love you” then I said my last words to them I love you.. at that moment the boat tips me and luckily swim to a piece of a cupboard. i’m crying and lucky is wondering where everyone is. as I and luckily drifted to sleep I didn't know my life would change back to the future pow pow.
As the fuel is getting low me and lucky make a quick pit stop to a store in africa. as i'm filling the gas up I remember lucky hasn't. hadn't had anything to eat so I go in the store lucky following i drop everything Mum.??? the lady turns around to me emma? is that you luckily ,chris! its emma as my dad comes rushing to my mom's side he looks at me emma, luckily he starts crying. then he gives me a big hug lucky. jumps into my dad's arms and starts licking him just at that moment my sister walks in she has some paper in one hand and a pen in the other. when she looked up she dropped all her things and ran to me
that’s how I found my family…
I am so relieved that your story had a happy ending. The beginning of your story is very heart-wrenching especially when your character thinks she is saying her last words. so well done for creating an emotional roller coaster ride. And I can see now why the dog is called 'Lucky!'
ReplyDeleteI look forward to your next blog post.